Living Beyond the Road of
interview takes a new look at the deeper nature of stress and offers
tools to reduce everyday stress related to our personal and professional
What is a holistic description of stress?
What causes conflict with ego parts?
Are you suggesting that we carry these beliefs into our adult
Do you think most people realize they carry the energy of the beliefs of
I think it is difficult to realize we not only carry the energy of our
family, but we also carry the energies of their families and many other
generations. It is hard to accept that we act out their controlling
behavior out of loyalty, and since the experience is so painful, we are
numb to its influence on other people.
Are there other aspects of stress?
Our need to control everything creates the duality of illusion that we
are in control, or another perception, that we canít control anything.
The conflict within our ego parts creates many levels of stress at the
conscious, subconscious, and unconscious levels.
Are you saying we always have stress at some level?
Yes. What is important for me is to realize that some stress is
necessary to keep us vigilant and sensitive in order to feel safe and
valued. Our conscious stress is polarized around controlling the
behavior of our self and others, and our well being. Subconscious stress
is created from the conflict of our parentís values as we knew them
compared to how we think we, and other people measure up to those
perceived values. Unconscious stress is stratified energy that wonít
move in our body and creates irritation and disease.
How do we control stress?
The question is a bit of an oxymoron in that the more we attempt to
control stress the more we create stress by not being able to control
it. However, there are some techniques we can use to reduce our stress
level from day to day. First; learn not to judge our judgment, shame our
shame, or fear our fear. All human egos compare how we think we are
living our life and how others live their lives, as to what is expected
based on the values we created about our parents.
we can reduce stress by forgiving our judgment of our parentís values
and stop projecting what makes our self or other people, right or wrong,
good or bad. Learning to give our parents ownership of their behavior,
values and choices allows us to create our own life and experience
freedom from their judgment.
third concept that helps many people, is to accept the flow of life and
realize we can never be in the wrong place at any time.
fourth method is to create a sensitivity and compassion for the judgment
of others and to realize that no human will ever know you beyond their
own filter system.
A fifth technique is to invite ourselves into stillness and meditation where we can experience the chatter of our own ego parts and invite our ego beliefs to become part of us, rather than part of our ego
sixth technique is to create sessions with a counselor or coach to
discuss aspects of our life so we can hear and forgive our own judgment
that otherwise might remain hidden.
Whew! I think Iím beginning to feel less stressed about this interview
and my expectations.
Kimberly A. Dorniden provides consulting services to corporations and non-profit organizations in the areas of recruiting, executive coaching, merger and acquisitions, culture development, HR administration, policies and handbooks, compensation and reward systems, performance management, and benefit administration. Kim is a Holistic Coachô and an active member of SHRM and local non-profit human resource groups.