I Fell in Love
visiting my dear Aunt Frances in Hospice, I asked her,
the secret to a successful marriage?”
should I know?” she replied, “I’ve only been married once.”
I smiled, remembering her speak fondly of her 51 years with my uncle.
rife with Christian saints and mortal martyrs named Valentine, reveals
the Catholic Church formally recognized eleven Valentine's Days up until 1969.
Designated as the catch-all feast day, February 14th
remains the official day for all things love-related.
While recorded history fails to identify the “real” St.
Valentine and the reason behind his association with romance and love,
what he represents still affects our hearts and minds long after his
earthly work stopped beating. Valentine’s
Day enjoys celebration from nearly every culture and continent on our
planet, demonstrating that love knows no religious or societal
boundaries. Love, honored
and appreciated for its own sake, transcends time and limitation.
men scoff at Valentine’s Day traditions proclaiming the celebration
akin to crass marketing and capitalistic attempts to profit from
emotions. Using the
dismissal of “it’s a Hallmark holiday” as a defense, some people
(women included) choose to remove themselves from the possible
entanglements of the tentacles of love.
While it’s true that the church’s feast of St. Valentine
occurred on February 14th, and also that no discernable link between
Valentine and love existed, the date reminds us that love is an eternal
condition and not a temporary emotion.
Nonetheless, the undeniable exhilaration of love flutters in
almost every one of us at some point during our brief time on earth.
How did this happen?
One of life’s truly splendid experiences, love’s
arrow reaches the hearts of even the most stoic among us.
A life-long happy partnership with a mate remains one the few
things in life money cannot buy. Differing
accounts of the nature of their success range dramatically.
were best friends and finally got married.”
This path to an enduring marriage traces the pragmatic
evolution from best friends to spouses, with a friends-for-life attitude
ensuring amiable relations. As
friends who genuinely enjoy one another’s company and as life mates,
these folks weather the storms of life and enjoy the smooth sailing of
companionship on their voyage.
grew on me, so I married him.”
Long term familiarity seems to assure and reassure
each spouse with compatibility and confidence that the choice in a
partner is correct. This
description of why the partner was selected often begins with, “I
didn’t really like him at first,” followed by, “but then he just
grew on me. What else could
I do, but marry him?” Often
the man adopts the tortoise approach and knows that ‘slow and steady
wins the race’ and his gentle persistence and faith in the
relationship eventually convinces her he’s the right man for her.
knew the minute I saw her, I was going to marry her.”
Described to me as the case by more men than women,
this phenomenon of instant recognition and absolute knowing offers the
most romantic insight into mysterious love.
The triggers to love’s certainty almost never quantified, an
immediate understanding of genuine love directs to one, if not both of
the partners accepting, without a doubt, that they’d spend the rest of
their lives with the newly met stranger.
All the circumstances leading up to the minister then are
academic – societal formalities and time constraints which must be
endured. All the while, the
end result popped up like a cartoon light bulb over the heads of the
lovers, and with it, love was already defined.
We’re here to experience love.
attempts to describe love and the affects it bestows on our hearts and
lives, surpass the breadth of language.
We understand romantic love, familial love, friendship love and
even object love. We look in
the face of our beloved and never notice the wrinkles or the crooked
smile, we only see the beaming soul beneath.
At some level of understanding, the attraction we feel transcends
physical attributes and rests comfortably in the recognition that who we
truly adore resides in the soul, not the vehicle (the human body).
the vehicle is all we have to express our love for one another.
If I’m not in earthly form, can I experience love?
Are not emotions fundamental to our time on earth?
The only way, I as a human, can reach your soul, is through your
humanity, too. Our bodies,
these lovely perfect capsules which carry around the precious cargo of
our divine selves, allow us to enjoy all levels of love while we walk
the planet. But what about
when our bodies wear out and die? Where
does love go?
we consider love as an energy form, then according to the Law of
Conservation of Energy in physics, love’s energy is neither created
nor destroyed. Is love a
puddle of invisible energy waiting for the surface to be pierced by an
unsuspecting human falling into it or do we carry love with us, awaiting
ignition by the attraction to and of another?
These mysteries of the initiation of our most precious and
inimitable emotion, pique our interest and perpetuate our desire.
with all its ups and downs, strength and frailties, definitions and
ambiguities, provides us with a reason to celebrate one another.
Just as love can be expressed with a dozen roses, a box of
chocolates or a loving glance, love’s feast day cannot be limited to
one date on the calendar. You
are loved – every day of the year!
Buffa is a freelance writer and Cold Fusion Web Applications developer
living in Phoenix, Arizona. Her expanding spiritual experiences awaken
introspection and reflection and her insights touch her readers. Marlene
draws upon the wisdom her memories reveal while incorporating knowledge,
philosophy, and practical spirituality in her story telling. Marlene
holds degrees in Communications (Journalism) and Psychology from the
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.