The word trust means having confidence, faith, being able to
believe in the honesty, integrity, reliability of another person or
situation. Trusting another person or set of circumstances depends on
the experience you have had in past interactions with family, friends,
co-workers, people, places and situations. Trust is something learned.
When judgments are made quickly, mixing inner feelings with past
experiences, it confuses the meaning of what is true. How can you be
sure what the truth is? People who tell little white lies usually do so
because they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, or sometimes they
are so frank it is hurtful, even though the words are prefaced with,
“You know it is only my opinion” or my favorite, “I’m telling
you for your own good.” Sometimes the whole truth is not told because
of not wanting to deal with the repercussion it will cause. For example,
when a woman asks, “Do you think I look fat in this dress,” a wise
person develops tact in answering that question. Every effort put into
learning to phrase negative responses with truth and diplomacy is an art
form that everyone needs to learn.
is that learned? One way is
by listening to others who can finesse any difficult question. The best
teacher is sticking your foot in your mouth more than once and learning
lessons from it. Men seem to be better with truthful answers with each
other than with the female species because women have a lower threshold
for accepting negative comments. If you are offended, the best course of
action is to talk directly to the person who made the comment, rather
than talking to everyone else, because that person is the only one who
can do anything about fixing it.
can you always be truthful and positive in the same breath?
If you grew up in an environment where being truthful was always
top priority, you had a built in role model.
You had a great foundation for being self-confident and trusting.
It was vital to building self-confidence if you were lucky enough
to have grown up in an atmosphere of love and respect in spite of
occurring differences; an atmosphere where time was taken to demonstrate
more love, honor, acceptance and devotion than criticism.
much time is needed to be deliberate about shaping a safe space to be
honest with loved ones? Today time seems to be limited and people have
become multitasked and are more deliberate about getting tasks done,
putting off taking time to create intimate, honest, trustworthy, loving
moments with the people they love and have promised to be with forever.
Learn to take time with the special people in your life. Choose words
that are kind. Building trust in what is being said means not using
negative, hurtful comments but rather, ones of endearment. Can it be
done all of the time? Who really knows unless it is a goal that is set
and believed can be accomplished. A goal set not just with intimate
loved ones, but also with co-workers, friends, family members,
neighbors, and acquaintances. Always begin with speaking kind words in
who you are and what you are about in this life time. Confidence in what
you have chosen as your ultimate life purpose has to come from desire
and strived for every moment you live. At first it seems impossible, but
like anything else, practice makes perfect. For example, if you wanted
to play the piano, it requires more than just wanting. Start with
finding a teacher who understands your nature, ability and desires.
(Hopefully you live with people that are not critical while you are
learning.) Five hours of practice for every one hour of lessons is a
must. You have to decide how good you want to be or decide you just want
to be good enough for the fun of it only. Be devoted to the learning
until your goal is achieved. Desire begins with wanting it, asking for
it, believing it can be achieved, and allowing the law of attraction to
draw it to you.
How do you know you are in alignment
with that which you have wanted and asked for? Learn to trust your
feelings. Know you are in alignment when you feel good about what you
are doing and who you are. Sometimes you have to tweak the situation
just a bit to feel good but the effort is the benefit attached to
practice until it becomes perfect (“IT” meaning every desire you
have). Not everyone is meant to be a concert pianist, but some are given
the opportunity to become the very best at what they are doing. One who
has achieved excellence deserves getting their name on the marquee of
life. Trust your desires, work toward accomplishing the tasks that bring
you joy, and let your every word express that with honesty. Be patient
with yourself while learning and follow your intuitive guidance,
learning with every experience that you are creating a life worthy to be
called a wise one.
When you can honestly and tactfully
answer the question, “Do I look too fat in this dress?” you’ll
have an inner wisdom you can trust.
“Nettie” Morse; writer, philosopher, entrepreneur and Tarot Coach
can be reached by calling 740-687-5824.